The Christian Lady

I want to tell you about a Christian lady who loves God with all her heart-as much as she is able. Most of what she does is related to the Christian life, and learning to know and grow in the knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. She has no interest in the things of this world, she hates the philosophy of this world. She helps others, when she can, and she ministers to others, sometimes even from the pulpit. She has her struggles, her prayer life has slipped a little lately. Well, a lot. She fasts, she does pray, she meditates on the Word, and she digs deep in the Word, praying for understanding. She's hungry to know God herself. She shares what God has given her freely, without expectation of reward or financial compensation. She spends her own money to share the Gospel. She always tries to point others to Christ, to encourage, and edify those around her. She's deeply concerned about the honor and glory of God, and heartbroken at the condition of this nation she lives in, America. She grieves over the direction the Government is taking. She has been praying for the baptism of the Holy Ghost-which she desperately needs. She tries to teach her children right, but she makes mistakes, especially with her young daughter, whom she's allowed too much cartoon time, though she has heavily censored what she is allowed to watch. She has been too busy lately, helping someone in need, and had too many children around, so she's neglected her Bible and her Lord, shamefully, even though she goes to prayer meetings, and tries to go early before the services at church to pray. But at home, alone, is when it counts.

She got up this morning, took the children to school, and needed to stop by the store for one item, a small thing, before she went home. It was a windy morning, the skies were slate gray. It was raining lightly. The wind made the air chilly. She was driving down the road, listening to the song by Chris Tomlin "Give Us Clean Hands". The words of the song mirrored the desire in her heart to be pure before the Lord. As she turned on the road behind the store where she was heading, she saw a lady walking. Her heart was moved with compassion, and she stopped and rolled her window down. "Do you need a ride?" She asked, thinking she would offer this lady a ride to her destination, probably home. Oh, how we pre-suppose and get in trouble. This woman looked like she'd a run of bad luck, and her face revealed she'd lived a hard life. She looked so tired and discouraged.

"No, I'm out hunting a job, and trying to find some money to buy some cigarettes." the lady answered.

"Oh," she replied, knowing she couldn't buy this lady cigarettes. And she didn't really have time to take this lady job hunting, either. She had so much to do. And she really wanted to hurry home so she could grab at least a couple hours time to study her Bible and pray, God knew she needed to. That desire was burning in her heart. So, she rolled up her window and drove on to the store. She got out, went in, and quickly found her item, and went to the cash register. There stood the same lady.

She smiled, and spoke, "See, we were going to the same place."

The lady didn't return her smile-she was there, seeking employment, and the store had a sign up they were accepting applications, but she heard the manager tell the lady they were not hiring. The lady had a paper she needed the manager to sign, to prove she'd been looking for a job, and the manager of the store said "You will have to fill out another application before I can sign that."

So, the lady asked if she could come back tomorrow and do that? "Yes," said the store manager.

The lady went on, headed outside, and this woman in a hurry to go study her Bible stepped up to the cash register and paid for her purchase, and headed outside. The lady was standing there, looking for all the world like she didn't know what to do next, and looked ready to cry. It was spitting rain, the cold wind was blowing, and it was not a day good for walking.

She looked at the Christian lady and said she'd lost her job in November, and was having a hard time finding one. The Christian lady said "I know what you mean, I got laid off last summer, and haven't been able to find one either. If it weren't for my husband and the Lord we wouldn't be making it."

The Christian lady was suddenly assaulted in her mind by shame. She wanted to tell the lady about Jesus, she knew she needed to hear, and she could all too well understand the craving for a cigarette. She herself had smoked 17 years before she met the Lord and He delivered her from this bondage.

The lady looked at her and the purchase in her hand, and said "I really need to find somebody that will give me three dollars so I can get a pack of cigarettes. And I've got to go find a job." She spoke about going to meet someone who might give her some money, and some other places she needed to go, to look for work, and this Christian lady was feeling so torn, but all the lady was interested in was getting some money for cigarettes right now. The Christian lady looked at her, and wished her luck. She went to her car as this lady headed out, walking in the light rain, pulling the hood of her jacket up over head as she went.

The Christian lady was feeling miserable as she pulled out of the parking lot. When she got home it occurred to her, why didn't you tell her about Jesus regardless of how you felt? Why didn't you tell her about this Jesus who could deliver her from the bondage in her life, and give her new life? Why? Self got in the way. Self was suddenly afraid God wouldn't show up and minister to this poor needy woman because the Christian lady was not prayed up and read up. And then self would look stupid. She was overwhelmed while talking to the lady by a sense of shame. Shame for the way she'd been neglecting prayer, neglecting Bible Study, and the communion with the Holy Ghost. Who was she to tell somebody about a God she's been neglecting?

Okay, in all fairness what is her idea of neglect? Not showing up daily for time alone with the Lord and His Word. I mean, we feed our bodies every day, right? We make sure we get sleep every night, right? We make sure we shower and comb our hair or brush our hair, and teeth regularly, right? How much more important is time with HIM who created us and sustains us?

Oh, God help me, the Christian lady thought. This woman has a soul, she's lost and stumbling around in darkness, spiritually, bound by the chains of sin, and I was more worried about myself. God please forgive me for being afraid of looking foolish, for yielding to the shame and insecurity. Please forgive me for putting those negative things of self ahead of a lost soul. God please forgive me. Please send someone to help that lady. You wanted me to be Your hands and voice this morning and I failed you. Please forgive me. I am soooo sorry.

She walks in the door of her home, feeling overwhelmed with regret, remorse, and grief in her heart. Once again she has failed the Lord she loves and this time, someone else was effected. Someone lost, who needed light. She begins to pray for the woman, and asks God for mercy on the lady and help.

A slow anger begins to burn in her heart. She did not ever want this to happen again. This wasn't the first time she had been in this position. She had to take self to the cross and trust the Holy Spirit to do the crucifying. That is the only way. Souls are more important than self. Only He could help her stop being afraid of looking foolish. She had little struggle talking to other Christians, or encouraging those she knew but she was terribly tongue tied when it came to talking to strangers. She prayed for His strength to be made perfect in her multiple weakness. Please forgive me for failing you Lord, and for failing her. I owed her the Gospel and held it back for fear. Please change me and forgive me.